Forbidden_Through Thick and Thin Read online

  She did what she felt she had to do and he was doing what he felt he had to by going back overseas to work. They would just have to come to some sort of compromise. But he was going to let her squirm a while longer yet. He was curious to see what types of excuses and justifications that she’d come up with to appease him.

  She sighed as she released a breath, and he could see her shoulders slump. Moving away from the refrigerator she plunked down into the chair opposite of him and shrugged. He was used to seeing Nikki feisty and full of fire. The woman before him looked defeated. It tugged at him, seeing her this way. Had he been the one to turn her into this? He supposed he was to a large extent.

  “I’ll cut the bullshit and tell you how it is, straight out.”

  “I’d appreciate it if you did.”

  “After the shooting, we made an agreement and you broke it. You almost died and yet you’re headed back into the thick of things even though you now have a family that needs you.”

  True. It was all true. He’d gone back on his word. He wished there was some way he could explain to her how important his job was to him. “You fell in love with me because of what I did for a living. It’s ingrained into who I am, Nik. I honestly thought I could give it up. I thought I could sit back and push some papers and that would be that. But it wasn’t. Each day I see men preparing for missions, being sent off and then coming home looking and feeling more alive then when they left. I know what that feeling is like, because I used to feel it. But now… What am I now?”

  “You’re a father and husband. You’re a man who has saved lives for years. Isn’t that enough?”

  It should have been enough. But it wasn’t. There was something deeply entrenched within him that made him need to do this, he needed this as much as he needed to breathe. How could he explain it to her so that she understood?

  “I see your point.” He reached across the table and took her hands in his, the gesture caused her to relax and a hint of a smile touched her lips, though her eyes still shone with upset and anxiety. “And even though I’m raging angry over you going behind my back to Dr. Greer, I understand why you did it. It doesn’t make it right, but I understand why you felt it was your only option. We’ve both done things over these past few months that perhaps weren’t the best choices. But I need you to understand where my head is…” He paused waiting for her to acknowledge what he’d said.

  She slowly nodded. He decided to take the nod as her being open to what he had to say. “Yes, I’ll agree that there are lot of agents who can do what I do. And some even have more experience than I do. But for this job, I am the very best person the CIA has. You need to believe me on this. Yes, it’s dangerous. Every job I’ve been on since I took a field position with the agency is dangerous, but I can handle situations. And I come home, each and every time.”

  “What if you don’t come home this time.” Her eyes began to well up with tears. It broke his heart and made him feel like this biggest bastard on earth. Maybe he was. What kind of asshole puts his job over his family. This was tearing him apart.

  “You just said there were others who could do it!” she protested, her soft, dainty hands grasping his tightly as if she let him go now, he’d be gone forever.

  “I’m set up for this. I’ve worked years getting myself lined up to take these people down. It could take months, up to a year even for someone else to get themselves positioned to break this group apart. A lot of lives will be lost in the process.”

  “Could be,” she corrected, sniffing. “You don’t know that.”

  “I do know, Nikki. I know a lot of people will die if I don’t do what has to be done and soon.”

  He could see the anxiety in her eyes and expression. He was putting a lot on her shoulders, he knew this and regretted doing it. But what he was saying was the absolute truth. She needed to know it wasn’t just about his vanity and his need to fulfill some death wish or James Bond fantasy, but real people, innocent people getting affected each day action wasn’t taken. He’d be the first one to admit that ego and the thrill was certainly a factor, but it wasn’t the end game. His own personal needs weren’t the reason he was willing to leave the woman and child he loved.

  “You’re dead set on this aren’t you?” She sighed, tears welling up in her eyes.

  Dammit, tears.

  “It’s what I have to do.”

  She nodded. Nikki was done with the fight and he’d won. Though he didn’t feel any satisfaction in the win. None at all.

  “Is there anything in particular you want for supper?” She sniffed, stood and made her way to the refrigerator, opening the door and scanning the contents, acting as though their conversation never happened.

  Chapter 5

  Nikki

  “Delivery.” The voice on the other side of the door said.

  Delivery? She didn’t order anything, at least she didn’t remember ordering anything. Squinting through the peephole, Nikki stared at the man on the other side. It was a younger man, maybe in his late teens or early twenties, holding a massive bouquet of roses. He certainly didn’t look menacing. Though she doubted many of the bad guys would look the part; hell, Grant’s partner was a bad guy and right under his nose. Grant announcing that he was heading back into the thick of things was making Nikki become paranoid again. She’d just started getting over the paranoia of someone showing up on their doorstep to kill them, just to be thrown back into it again.

  There was another knock at the door and the young man began tapping his foot, chomping more vigorously at the gum in his mouth.

  Determining that he was indeed what he appeared to be, she cautiously undid the deadbolt and opened the door. “Hello?”

  The kid looked down at the card sticking out of the bouquet and paused. “You, Nikki?”

  “Yes.”

  With a nod, he thrust of the large bouquet of what appeared to be two dozen red and white roses at her. Accepting the bouquet, a smile spread across her lips as she brought the flowers to her nose and inhaled deeply. They smelled so nice. It had been a while since Grant had sent her flowers.

  “There’s more.”

  “More?” She looked up and watched him walk back to a little grey car with the name Express Delivery on the side. Opening the back door, he pulled out a long white box and brought it back to her.

  Cradling the flowers in one arm, she accepted the box in her other hand. It weighed a few pounds, not much, it was mostly awkward. “Thank you.” She was pretty sure she was expected to tip in this situation, but with her hands full, Jasmine beginning to cry and no purse in the vicinity, she gave him an apologetic smile and entered the house, kicking the door closed with her heel.

  “I’m coming, Sweetheart,” Nikki called out, entering the living room where Jasmine was kicking up a fuss in her bouncer. The door had interrupted Jasmine’s feeding. Depositing the flowers and box onto the sofa, she grabbed the bottle and held it out for her daughter. The baby greedily began drinking down the milk, until she fell to sleep still trying to drink. A dribble of milk trickled from the corner of the baby’s mouth as Nikki removed the bottle and dabbed away the liquid with a feeding blanket.

  Nikki’s heart warmed as she stared down at her child for a moment. The baby was a perfect combination of her and her husband. Grant thought Jasmine looked more like her, while she on the other hand would swear Jasmine looked more like him. Time would tell who ended up being right in the end.

  Turning from the sleeping baby, Nikki reached over and grabbed the white box decorated with a large red bow. Curious, she pulled at the ribbon and opened the lid. Inside, nestled in a bed of silver tissue, was a red dress. Setting the box onto the sofa, she pulled the dress out of the box as she stood. The dress had an off the shoulder sleeves and was low cut with a sculpted bodice. The skirt flared out nicely.

  She ran her hand along the satiny material and smiled. Why he sent her a dress was beyond her; it had been a while since they’d gone anywhere that would warrant such a beautif
ul dress. Maybe it was just a make-up present?

  As she continued to examine the dress, she caught sight of a black envelope with gold trim laying in the box. Carefully folding the dress, she set it aside and then grabbed the envelope. Opening it up, she immediately recognized Grant’s handwriting.

  Be ready at 7pm for a night you deserve.

  A night I deserve? What about Jasmine? She thought. They had responsibilities. Maybe he planned on them taking the baby with them?

  A little lower on the letter Grant added.

  P.S. Don’t worry about Jasmine, I’ve got it covered.

  Got it covered, she thought. What in the hell did he mean by that?

  ~*~ TT ~*~

  Grant

  Maybe it was a crazy idea, but it was something their marriage needed – badly. He’d been neglecting the sweet and romantic things that made their relationship so exciting and fresh. Sure, there was no doubt many married couples who fall into the same rut, but he wasn’t going to let them be of those couples.

  She’d buck at the idea of a nanny, but he’d made sure the nanny was top notch. She came highly recommended and he’d even done an in-depth security check on the woman. A bit of a government access misuse, but nothing was more important than ensuring Nikki and Jasmine were safe.

  He’d halfway expected to get a phone call or text message from her with a thousand questions about the dress and the evening they had planned, but neither of those things happened. The nanny had arrived almost an hour ago, which he figured would surely warrant a call, but nothing.

  He shifted in the back seat of the chauffeured black SUV as their house came into view. It was two minutes to seven. She should be ready and waiting, unless she was flat-out refusing. Considering the ups and downs they’d been having lately, he wouldn’t be surprised. Disappointment, but not surprised.

  As the vehicle pulled up to the curb, he waited as the chauffeur got out, came around to his side of the vehicle, which also happened to be the side closest to the front door, and opened his door for him. As he stepped out of the vehicle, the front door opened and his breath hitched in his throat as he watched Nikki exit the house and step onto the porch.

  Despite wearing a black suit, he felt seriously underdressed compared to the beauty making her way down the walkway and towards him.

  “Wow.” The word came out as a breath of air whooshing from his lungs. The sound must have been loud enough to reach her across the yard since a wide grin spread across her red painted lips. She looked amazing in red lipstick. She didn’t wear it nearly enough anymore. She didn’t get pampered or treated like the queen she deserved to be as much as she should be and that was on him. He nearly choked on the knowledge.

  And now you’re taking off on her, how could you? A voice in the back of his head chimed in. His jaw clenched as he forced that voice from his mind. He refused to allow anything into his head except for her and enjoying their evening together.

  “A little extravagant, don’t you think?” she chided in jest.

  “Not for my wife, it’s not.”

  “I see.” Happiness gleamed in her eyes as she stopped in front of him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek and then wiped the lipstick away with her thumb. “Sorry.” Her cheeks glowed a stunning rosy color as she swept past him and elegantly slid into the backseat of the vehicle. He waited for her to be settled before slipping inside himself, the driver closing the door behind them.

  “You’ve been doing a lot of planning behind my back?” Her grin widened.

  More than you want to know, that fucking voice broke in again. “It wasn’t too much hassle.”

  “Did you pick the dress out yourself?” She plucked at the bottom hem of the skirt. It’s such a beautiful dress.

  The car lunged forward and towards their destination. She would lose her mind when she found out where they were going. It would totally blow her away. He hoped it would be enough to win him back in her good favor.

  Chuckling, Grant took her hand in his, brought it to his lips and gently kissed the back. “Of course, I did. Who else?”

  She shrugged. “And the nanny?”

  “The nanny came highly recommended.”

  “You don’t know her?” She seemed to panic a little.

  “She’s highly-trained and will have no problem entertaining and caring for Jasmine for a day.”

  “A day! You mean until tonight.”

  “No, I mean until tomorrow night.”

  She started to look anxious. They’d never been away from Jasmine for more than a few hours and even that was hard to do. Nikki had some serious helicopter mom tendencies, though he didn’t fault her for that.

  Pulling an arm around her shoulders, Grant pulled her against him and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Don’t worry, in a few hours you won’t have a single worry. Promise.”

  Chapter 6

  Nikki

  Despite the anxiety that came with the idea of leaving their baby for an entire day and night, she was still excited about the surprise that Grant had arranged. It had been a long time since he’d done anything over the top for her.

  “Is that the pier? Why are we…” She leaned forward, peering through the window as the car rolled to a stop before the dock. In the water, a slight distance was a cruise ship docked at the pier. She looked over her shoulder at Grant who was grinning. “Are we getting on that boat?” She didn’t wait for an answer, turning back to look out onto the water. People, dressed well in suits and dresses, were making their way onto the vessel.

  “We are.”

  “What for? What’s going on there?”

  “I guess you’ll find out when you get on.” The gleam in his grey eyes and the self-satisfied grin sent a rush of desire through her. It reminded her of the days when things were new and exciting between them. Mind you, part of the excitement to a certain extent was due to them keeping their relationship a secret from her parents.

  With the car stopped, the driver got out and opened Nikki’s door for her. Impulsively, Nikki leaned foreword and gave Grant a kiss and pressed her hand to the front of his trousers before she slid from the car. The soft groan that followed her made her grin widen.

  Grant quickly followed suit, stepping out of the vehicle on her side. Once out, she hooked her arm into his and he led her down the paved path towards the pier. With each step, she came closer to the line of people loading onto the ship, and the more excited she became. “We’re almost there. Might as well tell me what’s up.”

  He shook his head. “Nope. I think I’ll wait.”

  She groaned inwardly. It wouldn’t take long before they were on the boat anyhow, but it didn’t hurt to try to get some info. That was part of the fun of the surprise – attempting to get the information you knew you’d never get. He was like a vault when he had information he didn’t want to give out. The line moved briskly and before she knew it, they were at the front of the line and she was proceeding up the ramp and onto the ship.

  Top 40 music and laugher came from the boat. Everyone seemed to be having an awesome time and the boat hadn’t even left the dock! “Seriously, what is going on?”

  “Seriously, I’m not telling you. No point in even asking. You’ll know in about five minutes anyhow.”

  She groaned out loud, but within minutes she was on the boat and looking around. “Where to?”

  Grant guided her along the side of the boat and to the stern where it seemed the main party was going on, if that was indeed what it was. As they approached the stern, they were passed by a male server in a tuxedo carrying a tray filled with a glass of champagne. Reaching the stern, she immediately spotted a little booth that appeared to be a greeting/information booth. He seemed to see it just as she did as he guided her towards the booth.

  “Your name, please?” A young, beautiful, dark-haired woman behind the desk asked, shooting them both a wide smile.

  “Rivers, Grant Rivers.”

  She looked down at the tablet in front of her, then typed in
is name. A moment later she passed them what appeared to be a card key. “Cabin B23. Second floor. Enjoy your time with us.”

  “I’m sure we will.”

  ~*~ TT ~*~

  Grant

  She seemed excited, her eyes scanning their surroundings as she attempted to take in everything around them. This wasn’t a long cruise, just one night on the ocean. That was all he could take off from work – he was being shipped out at the end of the week and had a lot of work to do before he left. The information about being assigned overseas he planned on keeping to himself until tomorrow; there was no way in hell he was going to ruin this night on her. They both needed it too badly.

  Opening the door to their room, he pushed the door inward and waited for her to enter before him. He’d requested the honeymoon suite, though on a boat he wasn’t expecting all that much – despite this cruise claiming to be a VIP only event. He couldn’t get tickets himself, he had to have his boss pull some strings and do it for him.

  “Ohmygod! This is amazing!” Nikki rushed past him and into the stateroom. It wasn’t a huge room, being that it was on a ship, but it was large enough for a queen-sized bed. They’d been kind enough to give him the “honeymoon special,” which included rose pedals on the bed, champagne chilled in a bucket at the bedside, and a desk that doubled as a table. She rushed across the room and looked out the circular window a moment. “Really cool!” Turning from the window, she made her way past him and into the bathroom. Inside she found a two-person, jet bathtub/shower combo, along with a single sink and toilet. “Ohh, maybe we can make use of the tub later.” It wasn’t a question, but statement of fact which made his cock jerk in his pants at the thought.

  Laughing, Grant nodded. Excitement radiated from her as she busied herself investigating the room. He gave himself a mental pat on the back for thinking of this and giving her a special night. There was a difference between quantity of time spent together and quality and they certainly weren’t getting enough quality. He planned to work on fixing that. Leaning back against the doorjamb, one ankle crossed over the other, Grant waited for her to finish her exploration.