Forbidden_Through Thick and Thin Read online

  Description

  With a beautiful new baby and home, life should be perfect for Nikki and Grant.

  But, it’s not…

  A desk job is driving Grant to insanity and being a stay-at-home mom is testing Nikki’s patience. When Grant’s hours start getting longer and longer the distance between them grows.

  Something isn’t on the up and up and Nikki is bound and determined to find out what it is, even if it jeopardizes their perceived picture-perfect life with the only man she’s ever loved.

  Forbidden 8:

  Through Thick and Thin

  By

  Terry Towers

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  Chapter 1

  Nikki

  Late, late, late. It seemed to be the theme of her life lately.

  I need to get my shit together!

  Nikki shook her head, sniffing, refusing to allow herself to cry. No more tears. There’d been way too many tears lately. Her husband, Grant, knew how things upset her since their baby, Jasmine. If she were to be completely honest with herself, her feelings were going on way before Jasmine was born. It just seemed like their baby’s birth only fuelled the turmoil within her. The birth of her precious baby should have made things better, shouldn’t it?

  She felt so broken.

  Realistically, was he expected to make his work and life revolve around her PTSD? She needed to take some responsibility for her own happiness, didn’t she? At least that was the question that was dancing around in her head lately, along with the guilt that came with her pressuring him to stay at a desk job and not do what he really loved.

  After many months of Grant experiencing his wife’s mood swings and seeing her restless sleep every night, he’d take things into his own hands and tricked her into seeing one of the psychologists employed by the CIA, where he worked as an agent. After spending some time talking with Dr. Greer, she’d begun to work on dealing with her PTSD, but it was a long, slow process. Grant had been amazing – at first – to the point where she was beginning to feel smothered, but that had changed, and it didn’t take all that long for the tides to shift either.

  And so here she was, sitting at the kitchen table, their six-month-old baby Jasmine in her high chair happily gurgling away, and he was late. Again.

  She looked at the meal she’d prepared. Beef wellington with tomato risotto. She’d gotten the recipes from a Gordon Ramsey cookbook. Her cooking was sub-par at best, but Grant always appreciated the effort. The risotto didn’t look quite right, and it was a bit crunchy when she sampled it. But at least it was an effort. She’d get better at the whole happy mother and housewife thing.

  Nikki looked at her watch a final time and sighed. It was 7pm. He was due to be home at 5pm. He hadn’t even called to let her know he was going to be late. The least he could have done was send a text message or something – he always did previously.

  Standing, she began to clear the table. He could have it as leftovers when he got home. It wouldn’t be the first or the last time, she knew this. It took a lot longer to clear the table then it did to set it, perhaps because her mind began to whirl with other ideas. Perhaps he’d gotten hurt in the line of duty. She had no idea what type of fieldwork he was doing right now, although knowing Grant it was something dangerous. All she knew was that he’d promised to stay within the city.

  Sure, she understood to a certain degree that he loved his job, and it was his job that made him the man he was today, but on the same note, he now had other obligations – to his wife and baby. Did he love his job more than he loved them?

  “That’s not fair,” she muttered, more to herself than to their baby, Jasmine.

  After cleaning up the kitchen and the mess Jasmine had made of dinner in her high chair, Nikki took her to her crib and gently settled her in with her favorite elephant stuffed toy. Jasmine gurgled happily, not realizing that her daddy was missing from the putting to bed schedule. Nikki stroked her child’s cheek and smiled. So happy. So innocent. She had no worries. It must be nice to be so free.

  What if Grant found someone else? I have gained some weight and I’ve got issues now. I’ve quit college, well, not quit but put it on hold. The idea was ludicrous and she mentally stomped hard on it, making it disappear. Just because he was late doesn’t mean he was cheating. Grant was an honorable man, which was part of the reason she loved him so much.

  Entering her bedroom, she stripped off her clothing and pulled on a pair of pink and black stripped pajamas. Stepped up to the full-length mirror, she stared at herself, from the front and then the side. There was a definite belly that had formed where she was slender at one point in time not so long ago. On the plus side, the weight gain had done wonders for her boobs. Though she suspected once she stopped lactating those would dwindle while the belly would remain.

  Oh well, a different problem for a different day, she mused.

  Exiting the bedroom, she proceeded to the living room and turned on the television. There was a new Zac Efron rom-com out to rent and she’d been itching to see it. Grant wasn’t into the rom-com stuff, so at least she’d been getting a chance to catch up on all the new releases. Once the movie was up and running she grabbed herself a soda and popcorn, heavy on the butter, and then headed back to the sofa.

  ~*~ TT ~*~

  Grant

  She’s going to fucking murder me. His job may be dangerous, and there was a lot to fear from the sketchy men and women he dealt with daily, but he faced them head-on without hesitation. But his wife on the other hand… She had a fuse that had gotten shorter and shorter since she’d witnessed him being shot and almost killed.

  He supposed she had a point and a right to feel the way she did. She worried. Any woman would be insane with worry. At least any woman who cared as much as Nikki did.

  Pulling into the driveway, he noticed the lights were out with the exceptions of the light on the front step and a flickering in the living room window. No doubt she was watching one of those silly romantic comedies that she loved. She had made the statement previously that she liked comedy because, since the world was already such a sad and scary place, why watch death and destruction for pleasure? She used to like horror movies… but even that had changed.

  Maybe she needed more sessions with Dr. Greer?

  Shutting off the car engine, he got out and made his way to the front door. He took in a deep breath and slowly released it as he grasped the front door, turned the knob and opened it. Fuck, his heart was beating so rapidly in his chest, he’d have thought he was about to make a bust on a bad guy.

  “Nikki, babe.” He called out as he entered the kitchen. His eyes immediately spotted the candles which had been recently lit at the center of the table.

  Well, fuck. She was going to be pissed, and upset. Chances were there’d been tears. I should have called her and told her I was going to be late. Though in his defense, he hadn’t been in the position to make a phone call that would require he explain what he was doing and who he was doing it with.

  “Nikki?” The only response he got was voices from the television in the other room. A prang of fear raced through him as he rushed through the house and into the living room. He skidded to a stop in front of the sofa and chuckled softly. She was curled up on the sofa, clutching a bowl of popcorn and snoring softly, the baby monitor sitting on the end table at her head.

  Which brought about a dilemma... Should he wake her or let her sleep. She’d been sleeping so badly for so long now, plagued with nightmares. He didn’t know if he had the heart to wake her. Just as
he reached down to rouse her, his conscience jumped into play and stopped him. With a nod he decided to leave her be, instead going and getting a blanket to cover her up.

  With blanket in hand, he began to tuck it in around her as gingerly as possible. Satisfied that he’d done a good job without waking her, he gave himself a mental pat on the back. Two good deeds done today, he was on a roll. Picking up the remote, he shut off the television.

  Crossing the room with the intention of checking on Jasmine and then getting a long, hot shower, he was almost out of the room when an ear-piercing scream came from behind him. The scream pierced through him, chilling him to the core. He knew the scream. Another night terror.

  Fuck.

  Bowing his head in defeat, he turned as she screamed out again, this time jolting herself awake. Even though she looked directly at him, she didn’t seem to register he was even in the room as she pulled her knees up to her chin and lowered her head, her dark hair draping over her face as she sobbed.

  Fuck and double fuck. He was to blame for this. He’d put her in danger because of his damned job and now she was the one who was paying the price.

  Jogging across he room, Grant fell to his knees at the edge of the sofa and pulled her into his arms. She protested, but just for a moment, and then she melted into his arms, burying her face into the crook of his neck and shoulder.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

  She shook her head. She always refused to talk about her dreams, though she’d told him the gist of it on a couple of occasions after a fair amount of prodding. Though she preferred it if he just shut his mouth and held her until the trembling subsided, so that’s exactly what he did.

  Normally, after she finished crying on his shoulder, she’d look up at him with her brilliant blue eyes and tell him how much she loved him and that she could never live without him. At least that’s what he was expecting, but she threw him for a loop this time.

  Pulling out of his embrace, Nikki’s nose crinkled as she stared, her blue tear-rimmed eyes looking up and locking with his grey ones. “What’s that smell?”

  “Smell?” Her question through him off so well that he was momentarily at a loss for words. What in the hell was she talking about? Smell?

  She leaned into him and sniffed, reminding him of a bloodhound on the hunt for its prey. In fact, it was so comical he chuckled.

  “The smell…” Her nose crinkled in distaste once more. “Have you been smoking?”

  Oh, fuck me…. He braced himself for the impending storm.

  Chapter 2

  Nikki

  Grant smelt like he’d just spend the day in a closed room with a dozen smokers. How could he even give her a perplexed look over the question? As if he didn’t know what she was talking about. Her nightmare was immediately forgotten.

  She examined her husband with more scrutiny this time, fully awake now. Leaning into him again, there was a faint smell of perfume, though it was very dim considering the overwhelming smell of cigarettes. He opened his mouth to speak, but she put her index finger up to stop him. “And don’t you dare tell me it’s classified!”

  A guilty look flashed in his eyes and she frowned. Pulling back from him fully, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, waiting for his answer. Her wife senses were tingling. He was going to try to cover something up, she knew it. To hell with that, she wasn’t going to let that happen. It was truth time. Fuck, classified.

  “It’s not a big deal.”

  “Then there shouldn’t be any issues in tell me why you smell like perfume and cigarettes.”

  His expression went blank.

  Better make it good, buster!

  He sighed, raking a hand through his short, dark hair. “Fine, I’ll tell you what I can.”

  She raised a brow and waited. She felt a hint of guilt for putting him on the spot over something that he couldn’t tell her much about. But she wasn’t in a reasonable mood. She’d experienced one too many nights of eating alone and worrying he was getting himself into something that may leave her a widow and their baby fatherless. Standing from his crouched position, he slid onto the sofa next to her. His jaw clenched and she could see him carefully considering his words.

  “I’ve been put on a new assignment, and with the new assignment comes a new partner.”

  “Female partner?”

  “Yes. The job the agency has me on requires I have a female partner. She’s very smart and experienced.”

  A shot of jealousy surged through Nikki. “I bet she is,” she muttered under her breath. She didn’t even know the woman, but already hated her. In her defense, Grant’s previous female partner attempted to kill them, so there was that…

  “What was that?” Despite the question, a hint of a smile lifted the corner of his lips.

  Shrugging, she shook her head. “Nothing at all.”

  He paused a moment, before proceeding. “We’ve been working a case for the past couple of weeks.”

  “That’s not exactly explaining why you smell like cigarettes and perfume.”

  “She’s a smoker and she wears an insane amount of perfume.”

  “And you have to get so close to her that the smell rubs off?”

  He shifted uncomfortably on the sofa next to her. “For this task, we’re playing the part of being a married couple.”

  This was his job and she knew that, but nonetheless, rage filled her. He was her husband, not some woman he worked with – even if it was just pretend.

  “Did you kiss her?”

  A look of astonishment crossed his face. “How could you even ask such a thing?”

  She cocked a brow up at him. “You’re playing the role of a married man to some woman. Would it be such a stretch to assume that for role playing purposes that you’d kiss her?” A look of annoyance flashed in his eyes and could be seen in his expression, but she didn’t care.

  “She’s pretending to be my spouse for the purposes of a job. We’re not fucking for the viewing pleasure of them. It’s business, that’s strictly it.”

  A little voice in the back of her head warned her that she needed to back off immediately – Grant would never be unfaithful or do anything inappropriate – but she couldn’t. There was something within her that forced her to keep going. Maybe she was just looking for the fight. Or maybe she’d just had enough of the late nights, worrying and going day to day with only a few hours of sleep. The bags under her eyes were so big you could pack a week’s worth of clothing in them!

  “That wasn’t “strictly it” with your last partner. You almost died because of her!”

  Grant’s jaw clenched. He took a deep breath in, his thick chest expanding and then he expelled the air. He closed his eyes for a moment and when he reopened them, the fire within his grey eyes seemed to have settled and his expression once more became unreadable.

  Taking her hands in his, he gave them a light squeeze his expression beginning to soften. “That isn’t a normal situation, Nikki. It’s far from normal, in fact.”

  “Our whole relationship is far from normal! Our whole lives!”

  She was so tired of the tension and the bickering that seemed to be becoming more and more normal for them lately. There was a time not too long ago where they were considered the perfect couple. Her friends envied her for how perfect her husband and marriage were and how beautiful and delightful their daughter was.

  But now….

  Things had taken a serious turn in the wrong direction. And to make it all worse, he was hiding something from her, she was sure of it.

  “I know. You don’t have to remind me of that, Nik. I know. Which brings me to what I need to tell you.”

  Nikki’s blood turned cold and her body shivered involuntarily. As much as she needed to know what he was about to tell her, she feared what she was about to hear. “Which is?”

  ~*~ TT ~*~

  Grant

  This was going to be harder than he expected. Despite the fire of anger in
her eyes, there was a shred of something else – defeat. Had he done this to her? He asked himself for the millionth time if he perhaps he was being selfish. Though, realistically, he was one of the only people who could pull off what the agency needed him to do.

  So here he was stuck between a rock and a pissed-off wife and mother of his child.

  Greater good. That’s how his boss described it when he protested that he had a new wife and baby. Thousands of lives were at stake. Fuck.

  Grant raked a hand through his dark hair.

  Nikki’s back straightened and her eyes narrowed at him again.

  Here we go. Round three. Just out with it.

  “I was asked out on assignment.”

  “You’ve been on many assignments, despite your promise of taking a desk job.”

  Grant cringed. Touché.

  “This is a little different. It requires I be away for a while longer than I’ve been away since taking the desk job.”

  “How long?”

  He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Truth is, I’m not sure.”

  “No fucking way!” She jumped from the sofa, distancing herself from him.

  “Look, Nikki.” Grant stood and made an attempt to pull her into his arms, but she batted his hands away.

  “No. You just can’t hug me and make this all better.” She backed up a few feet, shaking her head. “Because, it’s not okay. Not at all. We had a deal.”

  Grant hung his head. She was right. They did have one. If there was some way he could make her understand why this needed to be done, maybe she’d understand better. Maybe she’d be able to accept it. He was tempted to tell her it would be the last time and that he’d be a desk man from now on in, but that was a lie. There would always be something popping up requiring him go on a mission that would put him in danger.

  “Nik - ” He didn’t know what words were going to come out of his mouth next, he had no idea what had to be said to make it better besides he wasn’t going. Though he wasn’t given a chance to make something up before she cut him off.